Temptation is a bitch!!! Mikey's moment of madness Part 1... by Guest Writer - Mikey Tuppence Bissessar

As i walks in the canteen at work earlier, i spot temptation instantly staring me blue in the face.
Big freshly baked cherry muffin started chattin shit in my ears as i walks past, n whispering at that too, so to make the till/dinner lady look at me with her puzzled expression ( as if her normal boat wasnt enough to make me cringe ) not having a clue who i am talkin to.
This till/dinner lady looks at me like i'm nutts....HELLO your the UUmpa Luumpa who is plonked on the chair all day behind the till shotting big cakes, drinks, sweets n messy sarnies with your white apron on n hat to match ( so small, cld pass for a party hat ) not to mention the long dull coloured bum fluffed socks that reach her knees.
So anyways, this little adorable cherry muffin say's ' psst psst sweetbwoy pops over yasso ' ( I'm thinkin sweetbwoy pops, who you kidding, i'm only 36 kmt ) I'm looking at Ms Muffin now ( i'm sure it's a she as her voice is sensual n soft, not to mention she has cherries dont, plus Mikey don't play that Wrong Said Fred shit!! ).
Ms Muffin say's ' you kno you want me, i can see the look in your eyes, go on be a freaky devil this morning n come on over n nibble me cherries sweets '
I am like ' what the rarse, move yuh damn self-i am easing off you fine baked beauties as your no good for me, so fuck off why dont ya' * thinking Granma says weh sweet yuh-will sour yuh *
I proceed to the hot drinks machine to deal with me ginger tea, but as i am pouring the hot water over me ginger granules, one of these frigging cherries decides to jump outta the muffin n roll over to my cup n plop into me hot drink n starts doing backstrokes in me gingertea.
Then decides to jump out onto the work top n break off some amazing road work looking like something outta Dukes of hazard, n got me thinking damn this is some serious va va vroom at its best right ere.
I neglect my cuppa of the finest ginger tea for a hot minute to pick up the buffest cherry ragga muffin i see on display as i can't take it no longer and have to get it, n proceed to the ole not so inviting till/dinner lady, n WOW n BEHOLD, i only have enough for me hot drink. damn you muffin man, shiit got me up like a real crack head up in this canteen right now.

My head starts to hurt, my eyes are bulging, i 'm having hot flushes, cold sweats, even getting the shakes looking like a played out black Shaking Stevens ( not a good look ).
Haaa-Aarh, cash link is like 10 yards across the canteen hall, so i cop a tenner out the hole, in order to get that 99p Cherry Ragga Muffin.
Then the moment we was waiting fro occurs, an get to indulge in such a pleasurable moment of happiness, it's almost as if i was having a threesome or involved in some sort of love triangle, to how it felt so wrong but sooo good, infact you cld say it was a clean orgy, me Ms Muffin n all dem cherries mmm...

To how i cracked n got me freak on that freshly baked cherry ragga muffin, i all felt slightly bad n guilty, especially at how it just had me up in the canteen soh. when i realised i didn't have the money on me to pay for it, i almost considered proposing a devilish sinful act to the till/dinner lady. Bear in mind she looks like a greek hobbit/womble type with hairy legs, also she rocks that bushy afro curly look like the one with the curly black hair in the Marx Brothers. Thank god for cash machine links!!!

I have heard of Talk To Frank, but i am thinking i need to contact Talk To Mr Kipling.....
Temptation is a Bitch!!!


by Guest Writer - Mikey Tuppence Bissessar