The Worst Night Of My Life

Last night was the worst night of my life. I have never before felt so violated or felt as much regret as I am feeling right now. I made a mistake and I will never do it again. I am not proud of what I did.



Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I found myself going through the same nightly routine of brushing my teeth. I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed my toothpaste from within. I then reached for the toothbrush and I'm still unclear on how it happened, but the toothbrush fell out of the cabinet. I reacted the way 99% of people would and tried to catch it.



It was at this moment that my world went into slow motion. My first grab was a miss. The second attempt to catch it ended up batting it into the air and prolonging its flight. My third, fourth and fifth attempts were no different. The only difference was that the toothbrush was now directly over the open toilet. By this point my panic level had tripled. There is no way for me to explain just how desperate I was to keep it out of the toilet.



By my sixth attempt to catch the flailing toothbrush, I had stopped breathing. My final attempt has either number 8 or 9 and I missed the toothbrush continue its path downward. I froze as I watched helplessly at its descent towards the toilet. It missed the rim of the toilet by a half inch and hit the floor. I'm sure it didn't really make this sound, but in my mind it hit the floor with a deep, echoing thud. Unfortunately, its travel did not end there. No, the son of a bitch bounced around like a pinball and finally came to rest on the tile floor underneath the back of the toilet.



I stood in utter disbelief with a dropped jaw as I stared at it. How could this happen to me?! That was the worst possible location for it to land. Don't get me wrong, I clean my bathroom. However, you can ask any single guy and he will tell you that underneath the back of the toilet doesn't always get the full treatment when cleaning. Hell, even professional house cleaners will admit that it doesn't get cleaned as well as everything else. It's just a hard place to get to and let's be honest, no one ever sees that area, so the most it will ever get is a quick wipe down. I slowly bent down, retrieved it and placed it on the counter next to the sink. I stared down at it for a moment and then walked out of the room to think the situation over.



Lately I have really been questioning my mental health more and more. I have been developing more and more phobias and weird ticks. I seriously think that I am slowly going crazy and this fucking situation was not helping in keeping me somewhat sane. I paced back and forth trying to figure out what to do. It was 1 in the morning and I really didn't want to drive across town to score a toothbrush. As I tried to make a decision, I couldn't help but think of all the drunk people that had used my bathroom. Drunk guys suck at hitting a toilet. Then came the thoughts of how many people had puked in and around the toilet. I tried like hell to shake the thoughts from my head.



I finally decided that I would move forward with brushing my teeth, but before I did that, I would do my best to disinfect the damn thing. I soaked it in scolding hot water followed my a soak in mouthwash. I almost soaked it in bleach, but decided against that at the last moment.



I stood in front of the mirror and squeezed about half a tube of toothpaste onto the brush. I began brushing as I stared at myself in the mirror. I couldn't bear to look at myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. As the toothbrush probed my mouth, I began crying. I felt like an actress who was forced to finally give up and do a porno for the first time. I fell to the floor crying and then started puking. It was the worst experience of my life. I spent most of the night sitting in the shower, rocking back and forth like a rape victim. I still feel dirty and I hate myself for letting me go through with that last night.