Ed Hardy's Hexagonally Shaped Water

I was doing my usual scan of the net looking for unusual products, articles as per usual and came across the most fucktarded product of all time; Ed Hardy Structured Water.


Sexually suggestive pose... There must be something in the water.

I initially thought this was an international prank, some sick joke pulled by some sad internet wasteman, who was on break from his daily masturbation session and decided to put his withered wrist to better use.

So I delved deeper, and to my dismay found verification in the form of the official Ed Hardy Water Website. Shock, horror!! They have the audacity to claim to have 'structured' water, which is a lot more retarded than it sounds.
Apparently this water is not the stereotypical boring waste water, but structured water, which is magnetically activated and bombarded with infrared light to produce hexagonally shaped water molecules, which are apparently absorbed up to 4x (four!!!) times faster than normal water. What a bunch of fuckery...

Shock, Horror!!

Water processed like that should cost a million quid a bottle and probably not be safe for public consumption due to its ability to give you the shits thanks to the 'hexagonally' shaped water molecules clashing with the 'normal' shaped water molecules that currently reside in your body.

What's even more retarded is the claim by many Ed Hardy Fans that this water is better than regular water, thanks to the 'structured' nature of the product, when in actual fact they have been seduced by the pretty colours/ Tats on the bottles packaging.
I read one claim by a Ed Hardy Water lover that Ed Hardy's water is the best tasting water he has ever had, strange when I thought water was well know for being taste-less. Maybe he was talking about a different kind of water.

I even found a youtube channel dedicated to what is essentially tap-water in a Ed Hardy wrap. Many celebrities are seen endorsing the product which I assume is for financial gain, rather than sharing the 'magical' benefits of drinking water with structure.

Here a prime example from Snoop Dogg:



Anyways, rant over. Props to Ed Hardy for following trend and creating a 'Water' line. They will make millions with that magic 'hexagonally' shaped water.