The 4 Lamest Fight Scenes of All Time

Strike of the Panther
Bad Actor versus Other Bad Actors

 

Combatants: One shirtless Australian guy versus a bunch of other Australian guys in suits that hopefully never made another movie in their life
Why it sucks: On paper, the components here suggest an entertaining tussle: a man in a chicken suit, a blow-up sex doll, and ‘80s floozy with a whip. But this one is so bad that not even those unique ingredients can save it. The protagonist shows off both his lack of acting and fighting chops as he woodenly delivers snide one-liners in between repeatedly knocking out the same four toughs. This clip is notable for single-handedly dispelling the stereotype of Australians as tough, hardy people.
Highlight: The bizarre cameo of a grown man dressed as an English schoolboy begging for mercy.

7 Best Maury Povich Paternity Result Reactions

The White Handkerchief Of Victory Method



Any time you can lead the crowd in cheers while you perform a somewhat complicated dance routine, all in celebration that you didn't impregnate a woman, you have a good shot at making this list. But what really makes this method work is the improvisation involved. Notice how this guy removed a handkerchief and rather elegantly waved it to the crowd, as if he owned a horse that just won  Ascot . That's called swagger.

25 People With Gross Nails

 via HolyTaco

Superhero Facebook Status Updates

Via  Comicsalliance

25 Hilarious Roller Coaster Photos

 

The 7 Best Mexican-Related Urbandictionary.com Entries

 I am such a big fan of Urbandictionary that I compiled a list about my latest favourite hype... Mexican Related Entries.

 

Yes, that is incredibly similar to how a Mexican wrestling mask is worn. Sounds painful though.

 

So often relationships tend to drag on and on, even after you've broken up.  Shitting on someone after having intercourse with them hammers home the point of "Bitch, I don't want to see you again."

 

I would say the most awkward part about this one would be the inserting of the piece of frozen shit into a woman's Vajayjay, but I'm actually leaning towards your flatmate coming home and finding a piece of shit in the freezer as being more awkward. I don't know, flatmate's just don't understand sometimes.  Now that I think about it, the sitting around and waiting for the shit to melt might be kind of fucked, too.

 

I think my favorite part about this one is four people looked at the first two entries, then saw the third one and was like "Nah, this one is stupid.  I'm voting thumbs down."

 

This one is a muthafuckin' classic, I mean, what else are you supposed to do if a lady won't swallow you kids..

 

 

See, not all Urban Dictionary entries are things that have happened.  Sometimes entries are from go getters like the guy who wrote this, who inspire us to achieve greatness.

 

It's got to be anal, because if it's vaginal sex and you say "I have AIDS," that's not that scary, she might just be like "eh," and continue having sex with you.

The 7 Deadly Sins of Sharing a Bathroom

When you're sharing a bathroom with a roommate, spouse, or girlfriend, there are tons of rules of etiquette that come into play.  Everyone knows the basic rules, like changing the toilet paper roll when it's empty, and using pre-designated towels so that you don't get a facefull of your roommate's ball juice the next time you dry off, but there are rules that are far more important than that.  These are The Seven Deadly Sins of a Shared Bathroom:

 

Leaving Coagulated Piss on the Toilet Seat

 

 

Nobody can be blamed for imperfect aim.  Even Maverick missed a shot in Top Gun. It happens to everyone, but you can be blamed for not cleaning up your mess.  If you piss on the toilet seat, back, side, or any other part of the toilet that doesn't come into contact with flush water, it's your responsibility to eliminate the evidence.  If you happen to find yourself in a "Cleaning Up Someone Else's Piss" scenario, the ideal circumstances will consist of fresh, completely liquid piss.  It's a simple wipe-up job that's relatively low-risk, and you can still yell at your roommate for it.  If the piss is dry, you're going to have to forcefully scrape that brown, smelly gunk off the porcelain. This dried, coagulated piss gunk is most likely going to be located on the toilet bowl's taint, which is the area located just behind the seat and in front of the tank, usually where the toilet manufacturer's logo is.  Scraping dried piss off of any taint is never an enjoyable chore, especially when it's not even your piss.

 

Neglecting a Floater

 

If you're ever going to look at shit, it's best to view when it's as fresh as possible, preferably in a well-ventilated outdoor area with some beautiful landscaping nearby.  Staring at a 5 hour-old shit in a pool of swampy toilet water, on the other hand, is not an ideal viewing situation.  The general rule is this: if you shit in a beautiful rose garden or rainforest or something, it's okay to make your roommate look at it, but if it's just in your toilet, you gotta flush that down, pronto.  Also, make sure that the flush takes, because the only thing worse than encountering a floater is being shit-ambushed by a ninja floater that's lurking like a moray eel in the toilet pipes, waiting to pounce on the first unwitting visitor to disturb its pool of shitty doom.

 

Getting Pubes on the Soap

 

 

Few things are more disgusting than getting in the shower and discovering that your bar of soap feels like a pad of steel wool because it's covered in someone else's pubic hair. If you find yourself on the "Just About to Commit This Sin" side of the scenario, it's best to maintain some sense of courtesy and just use the shampoo to wash your balls with.  If you happen to be on the receiving end of this unforgivable sin, then...I don't know what to tell you.  What do you do when the object you've trusted for cleanliness suddenly covers you in someone else's pubic hair?  It's a betrayal that will not be easily forgotten.

 

Using Your Roommate's Razor to Shave Your Balls

 

 

Whether it's a surprise visit from the blowjob fairy, a sex-crazed bus-load of cheerleaders crashing in your front yard, or that chick from the bar who just asked you to picture-message her a photo of your boner, everyone's been in a situation where they needed to do a little manscaping in a hurry, but using someone else's razor to shave your balls is simply unforgivable.  A dull razor works like a bricklayer's trowel, scraping the taint and ball area and collecting all that lies therein.  All the tapping and water-dousing in the world will never free the tiny pube particles from beneath the razor's blades.  The message you're sending to your roommate is this: "I don't care if my dirty taint and ball skin comes into contact with your upper lip."  That not only makes you disgusting, it also makes you a little creepy for being comfortable with that idea in the first place.

 

Getting Semen on Anything

 

 

This is one of the biggest differences between having your own bathroom and sharing a bathroom with someone else: there should never be any semen in a shared bathroom.  None at all.  Zero.  Zilch semen.  Nadas semenos.  When you have your own bathroom, you can use it to make as much semen as you want, and you can get it everywhere.  It almost seems like you can't cover too much of your own bathroom with semen.  But when you're sharing a bathroom with another person, it absolutely, positively must be designated a semen-free zone.  Alright, occasionally you may be able to rub a quick one out in the shower, but only if you have one of those shower heads that you can bend around, because after you bust it in the shower, you need to hose the whole thing down like it's a U-Haul trailer with a dead body in it.  Other than that, though, it is completely sinful to get even a drop of semen on anything in a shared bathroom, so don't do it.

 

Dropping Your Roommates Toothbrush Anywhere

 

 

The most sacred item in a shared bathroom is the toothbrush.  When used correctly, it should come in contact with your mouth at least two times daily.  Consequently, it seems very strange that many of us leave our toothbrushes just sitting out for the whole world to mistreat and abuse in any manner it wants.  Toothbrushes are usually propped up on the sink, or lying on the counter next to it.  As a result, they're very easy to bump onto the floor, which is where pubic hairs go to die in a shared bathroom.  In the case of a toothbrush on a bathroom floor, the five-second rule does not apply.  Five seconds on a bathroom floor equals five seconds of bristles snagging pubes, which translates to pubes stuck in the toothbrush and inevitably leads to pubes in your mouth.  Toothbrushes in shared bathrooms should be treated exactly like friends during the Vietnam War: if yours falls, abandon it immediately and quickly find another one.

 

Shitting in the Shower

 

 

If you shit in the shower on purpose, you should definitely stop doing that, because it's just wrong, whether you share a bathroom or not.  If you're a normal person, you probably shit in the shower from time to time, but it's always completely by accident.  You know how it goes: you crawl into the shower after a long night of drinking, stumbling, and failed street sign thefts, only to realize that you've had a dingleberry clinging to your ass-crack hairs for who knows how long.  The good news is that the shower water has dislodged it from the spider web of hair surrounding your shithole.  The bad news is that now it's resting comfortably on the shower floor with a size and girth suggesting that it has no intention of yielding to the force of the shower water and slipping affably down the drain.  Your first instinct is to just kick the shit to the drain and mash it down in there with your foot until you can't see it anymore, because somehow cramming shit into a hole with your bare foot seems less disgusting than picking it up with your hand.  Resist this knee-jerk reaction.  There's no easy way to get out of it, but the best thing to do is to simply pick up the shit, throw it into the toilet, and remember to flush as soon as you get out of the shower (in order to avoid Sin #2).  The last thing you want is for the shower drain to get clogged, and then when the plumber comes to unclog the pipes, he finds your shit mashed in there.  Then you'll have to explain that you shit in the shower and mashed it down the drain with your foot, which is going to gross out the plumber, whose entire job is getting garbage, shit, and waste dislodged from small spaces.  If you gross that guy out, then you are truly a disgusting force to be reckoned with.

20 Tattoos You Don’t Want To Get (If You’re A Girl)

 Via bigstupididiot.com


We all make mistakes. But sometimes people make them with permanent ink. If you’re female, we recommend you not make the following tattoo errors. Something tells us you’ll live to regret it. Check out the 20 Tattoos You Don’t Want To Get Especially If You’re A Lady.

20. The One with the Gun Pointing at Your Vagina
Freud would have a field day deconstructing the meaning of a piece of body art that implies the bloody mutilation of one’s reproductive organs.

19. The One that Makes You Look like a Cross between a Tiger and Ivan Drago
What this woman has done to her body is inexcusable. However, it would’ve been completely acceptable if she made herself look like a cross between a tiger and Apollo Creed.

35 Hilarious Bathroom Graffiti

Words of wit and wisdom written where we wipe.

4 Awkward Moments in Facebook "Likes"

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Can you smell the embarrassment?

25 Passive Aggressive Office Kitchen Notes

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