Light Skin VS Dark Skin

This is the most ignorant crock of shite I've seen in ages!

Shin chan- Happiness Bunny's Revenge

This is ridiculously funny! "A Bunny's ears are his prized assets like tits on a Cheerleader"
MAGIC

Rosa Acosta Sexy Ballerina Stretching Out Session.. JHEEZE

Ballerinas are not supposed to be built like this I SWEAR DOWN.. My viewing portals were completely hypnotised on so many levels.

Shin Chan - Little Kids Drinking Beer

Yall need to get to know about Shin Chan I SWEAR DOWN... This shit is retarded on so many levels, but is so goddamn funny.

Girlfriends Try To Save The Economy By Forcing Their Boyfriends To Move In With Them - Hilarity Ensues

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

Paranoid

Rhianna is a FOX...DAMN!!!!
I'd definitely want her to put her ring on it!MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Wasteman has 21 kids with 11 women @ the age of 29

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

This shit had my black ass in stitches!!!
These woman all knew of his 'extended'family but still let him hit it raw dawg without a hat! Jheeze

I wonder what a family day out would be like?... Mmmm

How to Balance a Fork and Spoon on a Toothpick

This trick is the muthafucking shiznit!
Dig Dash will soon prank you at a bar near you.

Gass Bag Divas

5 Reasons The Terminator Franchise Makes No Fucking Sense

With the release of Terminator Salvation (aka Terminator With Batman and Transformers!) we'd like to take a closer look at the franchise that has explored such pressing issues as our dependence on machines, what it means to be human and how utterly incredible it would be if Robert Patrick could turn his arm into a fucking knife.

However, in our exploration of this series, we have come across a few gaps in logic, which we felt compelled to share with you. Why? Because we don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and we absolutely will not stop, ever, until every movie you have ever loved is ruined.

#5.

Daddy Issues and Paradoxes

If you've found your way to this article, odds are you remember The Terminator, but let's refresh some key plot points. In the mysterious and distant future--1997, to be exact--Skynet, a highly-advanced artificial intelligence, is introduced to the world. Humans decide to hand over all military control to this system because in the Terminator universe the people have not seen The Terminator.

Decades later, the humans are at war with the robots and a brave warrior named John Connor takes charge and turns the tide. The machines strike back by sending the Governor of California back to the 80s to kill Connor's mum before he's born. The humans send Michael Biehn back to protect her.

Along the way, he makes it part of his mission to protect her vagina from not having his penis in it. And that, readers, is where everything in the space-time continuum gets "iffy."

As it turns out, when Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton sleep together, they conceive John Connor. And, as we learn in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, when the Terminator is destroyed in the first film, the microchip in its skull survives, falls into the hands of computer company Cyberdyne Systems, and allows for the creation of Skynet in the first place.

Therefore, the only reason either John Connor or the machines exist is because the Terminator went back in time, and the only reason the Terminator went back in time is because the machines and John Connor exist. Get it?

Oh, and John Connor and our heroes spend the last act of the second movie trying to prevent said war, meaning John Connor is trying to prevent his own existence, by eliminating the reason for his dad to travel back in time to conceive him. And, if he does prevent his own existence, well, he certainly won't be around to prevent the war thus prevent his existence and...

Well, you get the idea.

#4.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

So, we've established that the first Terminator failed and was in fact killed by a waitress. Consider how embarrassing that must have been for it.

But neither Skynet or Hollywood give up on good ideas, they merely try them again when the technology improves. Hence Terminator 2, in which a highly-advanced liquid metal Terminator is sent back again, only this time it's the 90s and the target, being young John Connor, can barely tie his shoes.

Luckily, the original T-800, his balls now safely removed, is sent back to protect John after being reprogrammed by him in the future. They meet up with Linda Hamilton and once again, our heroes thwart the bad guy, despite his obvious technological advantage. Did we mention he can turn his arm into a knife? C'mon.

The third time around, Skynet throws a little something called the T-X John Connor's way.

The T-X has a liquid metal substance for skin; futuristic weapons built into its endoskeleton, and can make its breasts grow at will. Yet, once again an outdated T-800, Nick Stahl and Claire Danes defeat this wonderful creation. Is your disbelief still suspended?

If so, answer this for us: Can't Skynet just keep on trying until it gets John Connor?

We highly doubt that the time machine has an "only three assassination attempts per user" rule. And anyway, why do they keep on trying to attack John Connor at different periods in his existence anyway? Couldn't they send the T-X back to the 80s to deal with Linda Hamilton again?

Or even earlier? After all, why lose the element of surprise by travelling to a time when the targets know what they're up against? It'd make a lot more sense to send the Terminators to earlier in the character's lives, when they were still oblivious to the threat. Get Sarah Connor as an infant, damnit. Hell, even if it was just one day earlier than the first movie, it would still make all the difference in the world.

Honestly, who programmed this shit?

#3.

Breaking the Law (Their Own)

The Terminator series really only establishes two rules for its futuristic technology:

1. The robots cannot show emotion;

2. The time machine can't transport non-living matter.

First, the emotion thing. This one seems pretty easy to nail down; right (they're fucking robots)? And it's stated right in the second movie when Arnold says, "I know now why you cry, but it's something I can never do" (though some students of the franchise speculate that was just Schwarzenegger thinking out loud on the set and the microphone happened to be on).

So why then, at the end of that very film, does the T-1000 give us the world's greatest "oh shit" face just moments before his destruction:

And he's not the only one. When the T-X discovers that she is on the trail of her main target John Connor, she displays an odd mix of excitement and what appears to be arousal, because hunting down the saviour of mankind must be so damn hot.

Come on, lady, your one job in this movie was to not act.

And then there's the non-living matter time machine issue. As Kyle Reese explains in the first film, no advanced weaponry can be brought back from the future because the time machine can only transmit living tissue. That's why we had to tolerate naked Schwarzenegger ass for two films before somebody finally remembered to put a hot woman in the role.

Now, technically, the first Terminator is a machine with living tissue layered over its endoskeleton, so it gets a pass, we guess. Enter the T-1000, the second film's liquid metal Terminator that can take nearly any shape and recover from nearly any wound. Oh, and it can turn its arm into a knife.

The problem is, this Terminator is composed entirely of liquid metal. No living tissue, no flesh, just 100% mimetic-poly alloy (thank you, James Cameron). That means, according to the rules clearly established in the first movie, it cannot travel back in time.

But, it does. Same goes for the T-X in the third movie. That Terminator is liquid metal on top of a heavily armoured endoskeleton. It shouldn't be able to venture to the past either.

Now, the whole point of adding that rule in the first movie was that it closed the "why don't they just send back a nuclear bomb?" plot hole. Fine. But just to further piss all over that logic, we find out in the third film that, in fact, the T-800 has the equivalent of little nukes stored in its abdomen. That's how he ultimately defeats the lady Terminator. So... why didn't he use those against Sarah Connor in the first movie?

#2.

Alternate Timelines

As if the time travel paradoxes weren't complicated enough, the narrow thread of continuity holding this franchise together frays into two completely different--but equally disappointing--directions after the second movie.

According to the third movie, once Terminator 2 ends, Sarah Connor dies, John Connor becomes a migrant worker, and mankind gets blown to smithereens in 2004. Terminator Salvation will follow from this course of events, with Batman, new Chekov and the blind girl from The Village fighting off the machines of Skynet in a bleak, post apocalyptic landscape without sweet laser guns.

Not the John Connor these robots want, and not the John Connor they deserve, but the John Connor they need.

Alright, we can live with that. If we need to see a continuation of this series, might as well be with Christian Bale taking charge.

But then there's a television series out there.

According to The Sarah Connor Chronicles, our heroes stay on the run after Terminator 2. Sarah Connor is sick, but she ain't dead yet (and is surprisingly badass for someone who's supposed to be on her way out). More Terminators have been sent back to kill John and inexplicably fail at something a barely competent hitman should have no problem with. Summer Glau, another reprogrammed Terminator, has been sent back to protect him.

According to this timeline, Judgment Day doesn't happen in 2004, although odds are it will strike in 2011.

So... the two futures are obviously incompatible (the different Judgment Day dates completely change all subsequent developments, from the war to the resistance to the invention of time travel itself). So is this all in an alternate reality, like the new Star Trek movie? Does it mean that one course of events is legitimate, and the other isn't?

Or does it mean that none of the outcomes really matter, since no matter what happens, there is invariably some other alternate timeline where the opposite has occurred? Is there some timeline where the machines are friendly? Where the Terminator is a sassy black kid? Where the human sent to protect mankind is Zach Braff?

#1.

No Fate But What We Make Up As We Go Along

Huge sci-fi franchises often revolve around a central philosophical conundrum. For instance, The Matrix ponders existential questions like "what is reality?" and "should the sequels exist?" For the Terminator franchise, it has always been the question of determinism: Can the future be changed, or is it set in stone? Luckily for viewers, it's one of the very few franchises that has the balls to have an advanced machine from the future objectively answer the film's central question. Unluckily, it's also the only one with the balls to have the exact same machine give the exact opposite answer later on.

At first glance, the fact that the Terminators are sent back in time to kill John Connor would suggest that clearly the machines think they can alter the course of history so that they won't have to deal with his crap once they take over the world. A major theme of the second film is that the apocalypse can be avoided, that there is indeed "no fate but what we make."

By the end of that movie, it seems clear that Judgment Day has been avoided, and we can all rest easy, knowing that at least one pressing question from the franchise has been cleared up. And then Terminator 3 rolls around...

Arnold shows up again to protect John Connor, who insists that he and his mom prevented the destruction of mankind in the last film. Arnold clarifies things for the little twerp by confirming that Judgment Day cannot be prevented, only postponed. In his words, it is "inevitable."

Which is kind of funny, since he said the exact opposite in the second movie. You might remember the scene. Linda Hamilton has just woken up from the collective subconscious nightmare of every Cold War kid on earth...

...and is dead set on killing the guy responsible for creating Skynet, hoping that his death will prevent the nuclear war. Little John Connor flips out annoyingly as is his tendency, at which point Arnold tells him that killing Dyson might actually prevent Judgment Day.

Got that? The objective, all-knowing machine just gave two different answers to the question "can we stop the end of the world?"

So... if Judgment Day can't be prevented, then the war and mankind's ultimate victory of the machines can't be prevented either, right? If fate can only be nudged a couple of years in one direction or another, then nothing any character does at any point in any of the movies makes any motherfucking difference at all.

Enjoy Terminator Salvation, kids!

Pussy Vs Machine

This battle is absolutely fucking epic. That Pussy has balls!

Are You Tired Of Not Looking Like A Jackass? Well, We've Got Exciting News For You

When will the "wearing something you use on your body for something else" madness end? What will the next product be? I'm hoping one day I turn on the TV and I hear "Using tissues to clean up your ejaculate is time consuming and messy. But with the PeniSleeve, you can save time, and be fashionable!"

How Rough Is Too Rough Between the Sheets?....I loved this Q & A! Don't know why.......

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Free Viagra for the unemployed, says Pfizer

FREE Viagra for the unemployed! Pharmaceutical company Pfizer earned this catchy headline this week with its plans to make 70 products free to US residents who have lost their job.

Anybody who has been taking one of the 70 drugs for at least three months and became unemployed after 1 January this year can apply.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227093.600-free-viagra-for-the-unemployed-says-pfizer.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=health

I personally think this is a fantastic idea and should be implemented asap to these shores.

Nothing worst than being unemployed and lacking the ability to get wood.

One Night Stand Pranks by Kingpin

Have you ever had a one night stand only to wake up in the morning and realize that she wants more out of it than that? Perhaps you just got out of a relationship and needed to get some stranger to help move on. Or maybe you were plastered and that "10" that looked just like Scarlett Johansson looks more like Mickey Rourke when you wake up. It can be a horrible feeling. Luckily, I have several steps you can take to assure that you never see or hear from them again.

The first method takes a little setup to work. You first need to browse Craig's List and print up about 20-30 personal ads for casual encounters. Once you have the ads, you will need to get a Polaroid camera out and invite all of your female friends over. Snap a head shot picture of each of them standing in the same spot in your bedroom. Now staple all of the ads up on a wall so as to cover a large portion of the wall. On each Polaroid, write a name and fake address on the bottom portion and then pin each Polaroid to a personal ad. The final step is to draw X's over the faces of some of the pictures with a red marker pen. Important Note: The creep out factor is doubled if you have a few Polaroids of guys amongst the girls. The next time you wake up next to Miss Clingy, simply let her hang out for awhile. She will wander around your place being nosy until she comes across the wall of ads and photos. Naturally she will call you into the room and ask you what this wall is. Simply tell her that those are your friends. If she asks about the red X's on some of the photos, those are the friends who recently had fatal "accidents." Now bust out the Polaroid camera and ask her to pose for a picture. If she doesn't take off running immediately, then take her photo and ask for her address. You will hear the slam of your front door before you can grab a pen.

Did you take home a drunk girl from the bar? How drunk was she? Drunk enough to maybe not remember what happened? Actually she doesn't have to be that drunk for this next prank. Given the situation you're putting them in, they won't have time to go over what they do and don't remember from the night before since they will be in a state of complete terror. Be sure to wake up before her so that you can set-up. Be sure to stock up on Halloween make up, props and fake blood. My favourite to use in this situation is the fake knife sticking out of the chest. So get your fake knife sticking out of your chest and cover yourself in blood, especially the knife entry wound. Next, drench the sheets in fake blood. Now cover her in fake blood and be sure to get her hands. Now lie motionless in bed next to her. Be sure to keep yourself covered with the sheet. Choose a great death face. I like to go "eyes of shock" and mouth slightly open. Wait for her to wake up and discover the blood. She will freak out and scream. She may even cry. She will eventually remove the sheet from your body, exposing the horrible murder she committed last night. She WILL cry at this point. Now wait a couple of minutes before laughing like a maniac. Tell her that you got her good and she should have seen the look on her face. Follow that up with one of these two sentences: 1) "Wanna go fuck like zombies in the shower?" or 2) "Laugh or I'll kill you!" Now clean yourself up and play some 360.

This last prank is the easiest of the three. Get up in the morning and sit down at your computer. Login to YouPorn.com and wait. When she comes smiling through the door smiling and asks what you're doing. Reply word for word with "Uploading last night's footage to You Porn. You know how the camera adds 10 pounds? Don't worry, only your ass got the shit end of that stick." Prepare to be slapped, but also prepare to have your morning freed up.

So there you have it, my top 3 pranks to pull on a one night stand to assure that they stay a one night stand. I hope that these help the next time you find yourself in a bad situation. And remember, I'm not responsible for the police kicking in your door should one of them call the pigs.

ITIS in a CAN. Sometimes the drugs are not strong enough

Now I have seen it all!
This is the new 'Anti Red Bull' called drank.
It supposed to quench your thirst whilst mysteriously relaxing you.
I call shenanigans! A splif would have the same effect and you most probably know what the fuck is in that joint.
The manufactures slogan " Slow Your Roll", not hard to tell who the target market is.
Anyways as I'm ignorant, I will order a case and report back on this so called ITIS in a can.

http://www.drankbeverage.com/

If you could have any Super Power, would would you have? Watch this vid and think about it very carefully!

Why Having Wolverine's Claws Would Suck -- powered by Cracked.com

This No Homo ting is getting retarded

No Homo: The Get Out of Gay Free Card -- powered by Cracked.com

Woah Hoo Be Clear, I have arrived BITCHES!

Yes! I've finally done it! I've ventured into the world of BLOG. Many of you know me from my notorious Notes I write and post on Facebook, so I've done what any red blooded male would do... Seek a way to gain financially from them.

I implore you to follow me on my new Blog page for the latest, brightest, wittiest posts out there.
I plan to air my opinion on movies, books, music, just about anything that holds my attention really.
Yes unfortunately this blog will be an insight into my bitter twisted mind but eh... shit happens innit.

Dig Dash